The love I've lost leads my path
Where ever I walk people laugh
I've got bells stuck in my pants
Forever lost in life's dance
You may think I'm a sideshow
Looking at me you could never tell
For sure no one will know
Cooking for me are all the fires of hell
Where I walk demons flee
God himself shares my bread
But his gates won't open for me
Nothing on earth could seal my fate

Time stopped my aging
It stepped back figured it couldn't win,
Judgement day came and went
It once saw me and decided to be prevented.
Marching on through the crowd
I sing out loud though all will hear it
Village idiot likes it hot
so let's get down and see what you've got

Balancing a beer bottle right on my head,
Dancing in a brothel tryin' ta kill the dread
No apostle will tell this tale,
This immortal will remain unnamed!

Trying to drown my sorrow
I went to drink with good old Thor
All those I knew are gone
And before long I drank him to the floor!
Looking for some simple fun
I wrestled a bloke named Hercules
But then he began to run
He said he had never seen arms like these
(Being me really sucks!)

When I faced the Grim Reaper
A drunken brawl and I cut him deeper
Forged by the lady in the lake
My blades made Excalibur break
Marching on through the crowd
I sing out loud though all will hear it
Village idiot likes it hot
So let's get down and see what you've got

Balancing a beer bottle right on my head,
Dancing in a brothel tryin' ta kill the dread
No apostle will tell this tale,
This immortal will remain unnamed!

It ain't easy to believe
But I tell the truth honestly
Each day I bleed, I grieve
So throw coins at me please
Liquor isn't cheap,
Neither is my epic Morris dance
My adventures are far and vast,
And each cost a dollar ninety five.